What if all of life’s journey is about relentlessly pursuing unadulterated joy?
And what if we allowed this principle to guide every single decision we make?
Looking Back to Propel Ourselves Forward
A few weeks ago, I wrote about re-discovering my inner child, tapping into her innocence and curiosity, and ruminating on how I could bring more of her essence into my adult daily life.
But that bright and beautiful soul was forgotten in my adult response of anger, contempt, and judgment for political leaders in the wake of the shootings in Uvalde, Texas.
Conscious breath left me, cutting off the one avenue I know brings peace and clarity to every situation: Breath first, mind last, heart and feeling in between.
I spent an entire week avoiding the practices I know bring healing: breathwork, physical movement, and allowing All the Feelings. Instead, I recoiled and retracted. I hardened myself.
It’s taken two full weeks to come back to myself; two whole weeks of exhaustion, short-temperedness, swallowed tears, and stifled rage.
But slowly, I re-connected with humans who carry within them the soft energy of love I’d needed all along for me to soften, too. With some deliberate movement of the body and release of breath, I slowly began to emerge from my self-created hellscape.
And what brought me all the way out was a relatively simple question:
At the end of my life, when I’m looking back on this moment, how will I wish I’d behaved?
What if this becomes one of only two questions we need ask ourselves in the heat of every difficult or confusing moment we find ourselves in?
Can you allow yourself to imagine how much more spontaneity, delight, joy, curiosity, and bravery might color your life if all decisions are made from the answers that arise from this question?
Calling on the Wisdom of Joy
Now, that question didn’t come to me out of nowhere. I’d been previously guided into a visualization practice where I imagined what it might feel, look, and sound like to meet the wise old woman I’ll one day become.
I closed my eyes and imagined 44-year-old me walking into the space where this beautiful soul will reside. I imagined greeting her in the entryway of her home – terra cotta floors warmed by dappled sunlight, surrounded by vivid green plants and trees – and coming face-to-face with a true sage.
Her silver hair fell in waves to her shoulders. Her still-bright blue eyes were full of depths one could get lost in, her mouth ready with a hint of a smile ready to break through. She walked with a cane, but stood proud and upright. There was an air of surety about her, of serenity, of supreme confidence in herself and her world.
I asked her, with more than a little awe and humbleness:
“What do I need to know?”
And with one simple sentence, delivered with a knowing smile, she gave me the only piece of advice I’ll need to heed from now on:
“It’s only ever been about your joy, darling.”
Instantly, the words penetrated through all the layers of projection and fear I’d been swimming in for…well, my whole life, really, but definitely for the last two weeks in the wake of the shootings in Buffalo and Uvalde.
It’s only ever been about my joy.
It’s also only ever been about your joy.
Create More Joy (For Yourself or Someone Else)
I can guess what you’re thinking, because my egoic thoughts like to think it too:
This feels kind of selfish, doesn’t it?
It’s only about my joy? Really? What about everyone else’s joy? What about suffering? What about 19 children shot dead? How can I feel joy when such bullshit occurs in the world on such a regular basis?
Deep breath. Let that breath penetrate fully into your belly. Take one more.
Remember this is about simplifying confusion and transcending reactive rage – two energy states that do nothing to propel us forward into our best versions.
This is about healing ourselves, so we can help heal the world’s bullshit.
Yes. It’s always been – and will forever be – about each of our individual and our collective joy. And no, those two things are not incompatible.
Because when what brings us joy arises from our Authentic Selves, rather than from our ego-minds, it’ll also inspire and bring joy to others.
And when we choose to make decisions based on one of these two questions –
“At the end of my life, how will I wish I’d behaved in response to this moment?”, or
“Which decision will create joy for myself or someone else?” –
our entire society could radically shift.
- We’ll vote in ways that reflect our desire for everyone to live a joyful existence, which means we’ll all have access to healthy food, fantastic healthcare, secure housing, and inclusive education.
- We’ll be willing to give up some of our own personal “freedoms” to create a society in which everyone feels safe, secure, and supported.
- We’ll accept that other’s decisions are indisputably what is best for them without trying to cajole, manipulate, or force them to think or behave in ways that make us more comfortable.
Just these two questions. Let them be our guide from here on out.
I’d love to know: How do you think your world might shift if you let these two questions guide your every decision from now on? I’d love to hear!
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