When we’re scared, we project. Projection is one of our most reliable weapons of (egoic) self-defense. It’s like a bomb: we hurl it far away from us, hoping it will detonate and wound those we perceive are harming us. But those most acutely wounded by projection are, inevitably, ourselves. Because when we project onto others […]
How to Interrupt Projection and Return to Love Read More »
We hear about forgiveness all the time. It’s important to forgive. Forgive and forget. But what does it mean to truly forgive? It means something much more than just an idea or concept that lives in the mind. True forgiveness shifts us radically on a cellular level. It means we can recall a person or
How to Forgive: Three Practices For Healing Read More »
What if every single moment of your life has been absolute, holy perfection? Meaning, no mistakes have ever occurred. Meaning, every single person you’ve met, engaged with, loved, loathed, and left were perfectly orchestrated to fall into your life at just the right moment. Now, what if each and every one of those moments was
How to Find Holy Perfection In Painful Moments Read More »
Have you noticed how society loves to divide us into groups and then pit us against one another? Democrat or Republican, logical or spiritual, white or POC, queer or “straight.” This is the purview of the ego: For, or against. This creates a false binary, a sense that we can only be either this or that.
This Isn’t You: How to Transcend Your Debilitating Ego Read More »
I spend a lot of time talking about ego (what you might call your “personality,” what others have called your “shadow self”, or “judge”). But it occurred to me I’ve never really taken the time to break down what the ego is, how it functions, and why it’s imperative we understand our egos if we
Get to Know Your Ego: Survival and Connection Read More »
Have you ever been smack-dab in the midst of reaction or heightened emotion – anger, jealousy, confusion, etc. – and said to yourself, “Whooaaaa. What the hell is happening here?” Well, that’s your Ego at work, and your Authentic Self trying to interrupt it. Usually, it’s only after an egoic episode that we’re able to
How “Failing” is the Ultimate Gift Read More »
Rifling through some old photographs from early in my first marriage, when my daughter was brand new and the world of parenting still a mysterious thing, I came across a picture of the three of us. There we were: Myself, my ex-husband, and our big-eyed, chubby-cheeked little girl, each of us suspended in time in
This Sh** Hurts: Feeling Grateful For The Hard Stuff Read More »
I’m going to challenge this pervading societal belief that “self-care” must involve capitalism and the beauty industry. Don’t get me wrong: I love me some spa time. And when spring rolls around, I fall prey to buying all the pretty florals that I rarely actually wear but make me feel happy just looking at them
What Does Real Self-Care Actually Feel Like? Read More »
I’ve spent a goodly portion of my life living in fear. Mostly fear of failing, which kept me from ever really going for anything big. But also, fear of the Other. The Other isn’t some mythical, mystical beast that preys on young children in dark, creepy forests. No, the Other is whoever singularly or collectively
The Best Advice: Do It Scared Read More »
Anyone who’s been reading my work lately knows I’m obsessing over Queer Eye, the show where five gay men (technically, four gay men and one non-binary person) swoop into a struggling person’s life to shower them with love, affection, new digs, and come-to-Jesus meetings about their health, wealth, and personal choices. The latest episode I
Are Good Humans Always Non-Judgmental? Read More »